This is
something I've written four years ago. In my walks and talks with other
people, I've observed that many people struggle in this area:
listening. Often, people forget to push the pause button and tend to just react impulsively. We choose not to see and appreciate the ravishing beauty of silence.Now, four years later, humanity is still struggling. And will
keep struggling. But I believe things can still get better. We can still be
better...
To answer before listening - that is folly and shame.
Proverbs 18:13
-Solomon
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Ever paused for just a minute to
listen to that rugged-looking man playing a tune on his vintage-looking guitar in the midst of a busy hour along the road, and if you're in Baguio, specifically along the famous Session Road? When was the last time you intently listened to a song, trying to understand the message and the emotions of the songwriter? Do you remember the last time having a
one-way conversation with a friend, him or her doing all the talking and crying
or complaining and you, patiently zipping your mouth, acting as Spongebob,
absorbing everything without judging, criticizing, butting in or inserting your
own similar stories or thoughts?
Imagine
this. You started telling your friend about YOUR cat who just died,and she immediately blurted, "Oh, that's sad (with matching sad
face).You know, when my cat died, I cried and....blah blah
blah." And so what happened? You never got the chance to share
about YOUR OWN cat. How YOU felt. How YOU cried for almost a
week. Bummer, isn't it? She's not really interested.
In the book of
Job, the grieving man was so filled with pain and he burst out his
aching heart to his friends, the ones he expected to care. If
only his friends held their tongue and LISTENED. Well they did listen for a moment, but if only they had continued to just sit quietly. They even started judging Job.
Poor Job.
A commentary in my Bible said that often, we feel
we must say something uplifting or insightful to a hurting friend.
Perhaps what he needs most is our presence, our silence, showing that we do
care.
Correct. As what King Solomon has said, there's a time to speak, there's a time to
shut up. Even the traffic officer says the same thing,
"Stop....ooops....wait...Green light...go".
I'm still a
striving student in the Academy of Listening. Still learning to hear
beyond the audible, to see beyond the visible. I'm trying to see what's
behind the man's perfect smile and to hear what's behind
the young girls' cheeky laughter. There might be something special in
there, or maybe something not-so-special, like a fresh scar that needs a
band aid 'cause I might have one in my pocket.
People speak in different ways. We can hear a message in somebody's song or somebody's helpless cry, or messages in a lovely
symphony or a broken melody or in a hungry homeless kid's rumbling tummy.
We can hear a lot, if we only pause and listen.